Entering my third year of college didn’t hit me until just recently.

I’ve been back on campus for almost two months now, and it’s all hitting me that soon- I will be moving on to bigger and better things.

It seems like an exciting point of time in my life, so why is it so difficult for me to feel excited? I feel more stress and pressure than anything. My goal for my future is rocky, and by rocky I mean it doesn’t really exist.

I know what I want to do, but it’s a matter of whether or not it will come true. After I graduate from college, my number one goal was to not have to move back to my parent’s house afterward.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and everything, but part of the reason why I came to college in the first place was that I didn’t like living at home anymore. I wanted my own peace and quiet and to do my own thing.

I want to have something planned out job-wise to help me get to where I need to be and I do want to attend grad school. I have an idea of what I would like to do after graduating in terms of a set list of action steps, but I still feel like I’m not doing enough to get to where I want to be.

I’m a first-generation college student. The only people in my family to graduate from college were my brother, my aunt, and three of my cousins. It’s a huge accomplishment in my family to graduate college, and I want this for myself so much.

All my hard work and everything that I’ve dealt with since coming to college would be working in my favor. Who wouldn’t want that?

I feel that I’m in my head too much of the time thinking. That’s why I like to do things to take my mind off of whatever may be bothering me in the moment, especially if there’s nothing that I can do about it right away.

This is a different kind of overthinking. It’s about the next steps in my life. What I plan to do with my life once I’m done with school and I’m truly being left to my own devices.

I have been at many different stages in life, but the one stage that I would hate to repeat is the stage where my life is at a standstill. I always feel like there’s something more that I could be doing to occupy my time.

I want to start using that time to figure out what I really want to do with my future.

What career do I want to have? What are some potential jobs that I could see myself enjoying and making a liveable wage? Am I doing well with managing my money? What can I do to enhance my skills before I start looking at potential jobs in the field I want?

It’s all a lot to think about. But overall, my main goal is to be successful and see my dreams become a reality.