Finals are upon us. 

For some of us, this week has been full of struggle and stress and big papers, projects, and presentations. Some of us have been studying tirelessly as a preventive measure to not have to stress later. That’s the smart, right activity to do. Meanwhile, some of us are stressing because we aren’t studying and instead, celebrating the end of a 35 minute presentation with a margarita and some classmates. 

The best choices are not always made, but they make for the best times, don’t they? There’s nothing better than doing something fun when you should be doing something else. Until, inevitably, we are struck by the sudden knowingness that we are not doing what we’re supposed to be doing. Then, everything is ruined and horrible and awful. 

The cortisol has been unleashed in all of us here on campus. College students are walking stress machines. We could cry at the drop of a hat, a dropped pencil, a dropped grade. We’re calculating how many points we can reasonably lose and still pass. We are stress machines. 

I rebuke the term papers, the seminar presentations, the theses, the tests, the books, lingering homework assignments—all of it. I don’t want to do any of it, but I know I have to, and so do the rest of us.

Well, actually, we don’t have to. We could opt out, run away, and straight up refuse, but we would have to deal with the repercussions. Do we want to deal with the repercussions? It’s tempting, but I’m too afraid to disappoint my professors, disgrace my parents, and hate myself to go through with it. This has been a lesson brought to you by existentialism. We don’t have to do things, we choose to do things.

Can we petition for extra hours in the day? I just need more time to sleep, eat, bathe. Y’know, normal functionings that are placed on the back-burner when times get stressful. I just want some time to smell the roses, maybe. Or candles, actually. I love sniffing candles. Will there ever be time to run to Target and sniff the candles ever again? 

It gets hard to see my way out of finals week. I’m sure it’s like that for a lot of us. After all the work is done, I’ll probably be bored during winter break. 

You know what I say the 12 page term paper I have to write? “No.” And to my other 12 page paper? “No!” And to my other super long research paper? “No!” And the corrections I need to make for submissions to EWP? “No!” And to my presentation? “Hard no!” Well, I mean, “No, not right now,” anyway. I’ll get around to it all eventually. But first, I’d like one nap, please. 

Megan Keane is an English and psychology major. She can be reached at 581-2812 or mkkeane@eiu.edu.