I found myself catching a feeling earlier this week–disgusting! No! I don’t like to let people see me affected by that kind of stuff. I’m sure a ton of us don’t. Vulnerability is uncomfortable and we strive to be comfortable at all costs. Leaving our comfort zone is a huge no no.

Feelings are associated, in our society, with femininity, and that equates them to being bad.

In my case, I am a cisgender female who has spent a majority of my life trying really hard not to be “girly.” I’d separate myself from anything associated with what a girl should typically have, like or want. Pretty dumb, when I think about it. What’s wrong with being feminine?

Femininity is associated with being “too” emotional, with being unable to separate feelings from logic. For whatever reason, our society has decided that feelings are feminine and feminine is weak and irrational.

I know I’m not the only girl on this planet who despises these things, but why do those of us that reject these things, either consciously or subconsciously, receive praise for it?

In Gone Girl, a novel by Gillian Flynn, this issue is addressed. The main character calls it being a “cool girl.” Being a cool girl means that you’re very go-with-the-flow, tomboy-ish, but still conventionally attractive, and you don’t get too attached. The concept of the cool girl is that she attracts more guys for not being overtly feminine, but . . . still somehow feminine.

Confusing, right?

But that’s what cisgender/transgender females face on the regular. These blackholes of “what?!” that we have to navigate and balance in order to be seen a certain way.

I’m not saying it’s not possible for a female to not naturally be this cool, it definitely is possible, all I’m saying is that this is a desired personality type projected on us stemming from men.

In our current dating culture–which is really more of a hook-up culture–I think this personality type would make participation easier. I think it’s the personality type that would make these sorts of situationships easier, and I do think it’s expect of us at this point.

But what’s wrong with catching feelings? It makes us vulnerable, yes. Vulnerability equals weak, right? Or does it equal strength?

Either way, we shouldn’t reject these parts of ourselves just because they’re associated with femininity. So what if we like feelings and make up and nail polish and pink–all things that people are fighting for society to see as genderless anyway. But there remains the stigma. Let’s continue to work on breaking it.

I love the color pink and I love crying and bubble baths. I don’t understand why this stuff has a gender, but it does, but it shouldn’t.

Megan Keane is a senior English and psychology major. She can be reached at 581-2812 or at mkeane@eiu.edu/