I am not where I want to be, but I am finally where I need to be.

Working for The Daily Eastern News is not where I wanted to be.

Did I ever think that my senior year would be spent checking other people’s spelling and grammar? Writing my own stories while taking pictures of events on campus? Staying up all hours of the night because I refused to admit defeat to InDesign? No, I did not.

I honestly was hoping to spend my senior year asleep in the mornings, waking up late on Monday and Wednesday because my classes do not start until 1 p.m., and just enjoying being a lazy senior student.

Not up studying in the morning because I was up the night before copy editing in hopes to make it before deadline only to miss it by an hour as usual. 

I was hoping to spend my senior year not stressed to the max, like I am now, and surrounded by video games and hanging out with friends.

But let us pause for a second, is that not what I am doing now?

Of course, I am not going to lie; when I first walked into The Daily Eastern News I was terrified.

I have always been scared of speaking out loud and scared of my own shadow. But I am not that way anymore.

Now I cannot stop talking and sometimes that becomes a problem when you are a copy editor, trying to write a story on the same night your trying to design pages.

I never noticed that I have come a long way since I started going into the newsroom three years ago just for photo assignments.

Not until my editor-in-chief pointed out that my attitude is basically, “ I’m awesome, if you don’t like it, be jealous, or get over it.”

And that got me thinking.

Since joining The News, my arrogance and ego have been growing.

I was becoming the person that I used to be before going through a tragedy in my life that basically tore me down.

I may not be playing video games as much as I planned on. I may not be having as much free time as I wanted.

It would not be a lie to say that I have not had more then eight hours of sleep a night since this semester started.

But what I have gained outweighs what I lost.

Because when I joined The News, I found a community inside of my school that I could identify with.

Because of all my friends that I have made by joining The News, I am back to the person I used to be, the person that I want to be, the person who does not care about what people think.

I now have more experience and a lot more friends than I had at the beginning of my school career. I now also have a proper portfolio.

My arrogance and confidence levels are reaching dangerous heights though.

So once I graduate and leave The News all I have to say is, watch out world because here I come.

Liz Dowell is a senior journalism major. She can be reached at 581-2812 or ehdowell@eiu.edu