We’ve probably all been in these situations before, where you’ve either been granted the authority to be the house party DJ or you really really wish you were because man, this music sucks.

There need to be some guidelines in place for house party DJ etiquette and that’s hopefully what I can accomplish here today, but before I continue, I have to say: we are lucky to be alive at this time. 

Can you imagine what college was like before mp3s? How did they do it? I’m just imagining stacks and stacks of CDs in broken cases, mismatched with their correct case, scratched beyond belief, many of them probably ended up becoming coasters. 

We live in an age where we can literally hold Ludacris’ discography in the palm of our hand. It’s a beautiful thing. We need to cherish it.

So, it’s 2014 and we need to start living like it. I’m talking to you, guy DJing an entire party off YouTube from his phone. 

If you’re in charge of the music for a party, it should definitely be preloaded, meaning played from an MP3 file from your iPod or phone or even laptop if you’re crazy enough to bring your laptop to a party (pro-tip: don’t). 

Pandora is bad enough with advertisements— we don’t need to hear one before every song, and we definitely don’t need to hear the song stopping and buffering every 12 seconds because you’re streaming it from YouTube. C’mon. Have some respect.

Second, I’m a big believer in respecting whosever’s space you’re in, so if there’s already a DJ in place, either listen to their music until they give up their post or politely make a request. 

If you are going to make a request, you should ask the DJ if he or she has whatever song you’re looking for, not hand them your greasy iPhone with whatever (probably terrible) song you want to hear. It just makes things easier that way.

The third point is to do as the scouts say and be prepared. If you’re doing it right, you should have a playlist already ready to go that should at least last a few hours. 

If you’re doing it on the fly, you should know as soon as you press play what song is going to come next and maybe the next few after that. Nobody wants to hear a song, followed by a minute and a half of silence, followed by a song, followed again by a minute and a half of silence. 

The transitions should be smooth and seamless. Can you imagine me reading you my column over the phone, but stopping after every three sentences so I could think of what I was going to say next? Sounds nauseating, and your party will be just that if you don’t follow these guidelines.

Dominic Renzetti is a senior family and consumersciences major. He can be reached at 581-2812 or denopinons@gmail.com.