Column: Columns aren’t for everybody, but anyone can write one

Seth, our Opinions Editor, was promised this column and I’m going to give it to him. Today I’m going to give you some tips if you ever want to write your own column and some challenges you might face.

I thought having a weekly column would be easy. It’d be due every Wednesday night. I’d reflect on my weekend and pull an idea out of it. I’d write it. I’d try to be funny, fail, but yet it would still make it to the paper.

Column writing is much more difficult – ask anyone who only writes once a month or is scared to have one because they don’t think they can be funny.

News flash: you don’t have to be funny to be a columnist. Don’t let that hold you back. That’s the first lesson I’m teaching you today.

There are fabulous columnists whose humor comes through in their writing – ESPN’s Bill Simmons, The Pantagraph’s Bill Flick – but some of the best columnists are the ones who are insightful about important topics and tell great stories like— Mike Wilbon, formerly of The Washington Post and host of the popular ESPN show “Pardon The Interruption.”

All young columnists want to be like one of the successful ones they read every week, but shouldn’t try to copy them. You shouldn’t try to be somebody you’re not in your writing. This is lesson number two – a lesson I’ve been taught many times.

This goes for anything. You don’t want to try to be somebody you’re not in life, in the classroom, on a date, on the radio, or in the newspaper.

Your date isn’t going to like you after she realizes you put on an act on your first date. That same person isn’t going to like your columns if it feels like you’re trying too hard to be philosophical or hilarious.

Am I trying too hard? If I am tell me to stop. I’m still learning.

There’s also the notion that, “I can’t be a columnist because I don’t know anything about politics.”

Uh, hello! I don’t know the first thing about politics. The most I know is that Republicans are conservative and Democrats are not. Also, I know people are really hesitant to tell you whom they voted for, but I couldn’t tell you why.

You don’t have to be a political columnist. This is lesson number three.

There’s no limit to what you can write about. You like comics? Write about it. You like sub sandwiches? Write about it. You hate online chat rooms? Write about it.

Finally, if you want to be a good columnist you have to read – and read a lot. Read everyday. Yes, you should read columnists; in fact, you should subscribe to their RSS feeds and follow them. Get a feel for how successful columnists go about finding weekly story ideas.

But don’t just read columns. Read stories – news and sports articles, novels, biographies, non-fiction stories, blogs, letters, graphic novels, children’s books. Read everything you can get your hands on, because as a columnist you’re in a business of words.

That’s your pocket guide to being a columnist. Send an email to the address at the bottom of this page to let Seth know you want to write for him. He’d love more columnists – and you all know now that I can’t even come up with story ideas.

Nope… still don’t have one.

Alex McNamee can be reached at 581-2812 or denopinions@gmail.com.