The holidays are glorious. Why, you ask? Because you get showered with goodies and funds from relatives who take pity on the pile of debt you cherish next to your discarded pizza boxes. Gift money is good, right? Wrong – that is if you decide to take this monetary pledge and use it to permanently brand your body with lyrics from a Foster the People song. I’m talking regrettable tattoos, folks.

According to The Pew Research Center, 36 percent of 18- to 25-year-olds had at least one tattoo in 2007. Please don’t misunderstand. I adore tattoos. Because of living the lavish lifestyle of a college student, what funds I do have are put toward sensible things like bills and car repairs – and unfortunately, not toward my dream of having a Mike Tyson tattoo on my face. Although that previous statement is mostly not true, you understand my point.

I have only three tattoos, but I would defend any of them until I was blue in the face. However, it worries me that when I am of geriatric age trolling the nursing homes, my eyes will be bombarded with the unsightly views of wrinkling “Tapout” tattoos. So I ask this – please think before you ink.

A few rules of thumb for potential (or current) tattooed parties – 1) Do not get a tribal tattoo unless you are a tribesman in a village. 2) Tramp stamps are never OK. 3) On the contrary, tattoos for family members are always OK, no matter how ridiculous they appear.

And most importantly, 4) Do not jump on the occasion to get a bargain basement tattoo.

The results will end up in shame and probably a mystery strain of diseases. Going to some leaky basement to get a tattoo from an “artist” who will only charge you $30 to ink a butterfly on your hip bone may seem quite titillating, but I assure you, it is not as glamorous as it sounds. With your awesome bargain tattoo, your artist may give you a free gift with purchase – a disease. According to the Mayo Clinic, dirty needles can transfer hepatitis, HIV and AIDS. Yes, people generally know this. Does this stop them from getting tattooed in places that resemble The Chokey in Matilda? Unfortunately, no.

Tattoos can be removed, but results depend on the inks used and the depth of the tattoo, according to the American Academy of Dermatology. Remember – the $30 tattoo you paid for today can be the $500 and more mistake in the future. Moral of the story? You get what you pay for.

Unfortunately, these seedy bargain-basement tattoo deals will be even more appealing during the holidays. Before you plan on having your skin penetrated multiple times by a needle, ask yourself this – will my children be embarrassed to be seen with me when my tramp stamp surfaces above my mom jeans in 20 years? The answer is yes. Always yes. So once again, please. Think before you make it permanent.

Shelley Holmgren is a senior journalism major.

She can be reached at 581-7942 or DENopinions@gmail.com