By this time in 2007, the three major candidates for the Democratic nomination for president had already announced their candidacies.

John Edwards was the first, he officially began his campaign on Dec. 28, 2006. Hillary Clinton came next and made her announcement Jan. 20, and Barack Obama made his announcement in Springfield on Feb. 10.

It was an unusually early start to the campaign season, and I remember wondering if campaigns would keep stretching back, eventually starting on inauguration day.

Well, here we are in March 2011, and not a single candidate has thrown themselves into the ring. It seems almost certain that Obama will be nominated for reelection. But the most you’ll get from Republican hopefuls is that they are “exploring” whether to run.

Speculation abounds, especially around five potential candidates. I know most people are relieved not to have politics intrude on their everyday lives for a few more weeks, but for those of us afflicted by a deranged addiction to politics, the suspense can be too much to bear.

I want to know who will show up to the party. It’s a weird batch: quiet, sleepy conservatives you’ve probably never heard of; loud lunatics who gave up on politics and became millionaire pundits; and maybe, if we are lucky, Ron Paul will jump in the mix and entertain us with his cantankerous rants.

Everybody wants to know if Sarah Palin will run. As a Democrat, I would love it if she did. But I doubt she will. Palin never really liked governing to begin with.

After ruining what chances the McCain campaign had of beating Obama, she went back to her job as governor of Alaska. Less than a year later, she decided it wasn’t fun anymore and quit to do a book tour.

Palin became a darling to the far right, giving speeches at Tea Party rallies (where the phrase “Lame-stream Media” gets them every time), doing book signings across the country, starring in her own reality show on TLC (which used to call itself “The Learning Channel”), and working as a commentator on Fox News.

According to Forbes, Palin has made over $10 million talkin’ to real Americans. Why give up that kind of income to once again face the scrutiny of the entire American public? My guess is she will continue to be as ambivalent as possible for as long as possible before deciding to decline her party’s nomination.

Another big name being floated about is Newt Gingrich. Gingrich was Speaker of the House from 1995 to 1999, and helped cause a government shutdown in 1995, which was extremely unpopular.

With another government shutdown looming over Washington today, it seems unlikely Gingrich would be the man people want to see involved in negotiations.

But Gingrich is also making quite a lot of money. Like Palin, his book sales, punditry and political action committees have made him very wealthy. Unlike Palin, he is able to state and defend the complexities of his political philosophy in a way more suited for major debates.

He has formed an exploratory committee to test his chances in a presidential bid. I think he will learn his chances aren’t worth blowing his money on.

There is Tim Pawlenty who, if he ran, would actually be a strong candidate. His biggest problem is that half the people reading this are probably wondering who the hell Tim Pawlenty is.

Mitt Romney could probably fare well in the general election, but would have a tough time getting through the primaries.

The Republican party has moved far to the right since the last election. That’s bad news for Romney. As governor of Massachusetts, he passed health care legislation that is almost identical to the one passed by the Obama administration. If anything, Romney’s coverage is more inclusive than Obama’s. Few things have incensed the right more than the health care bill (or, “Obamacare” in conservaspeak). And he is a Mormon, but half of his party think Obama is a Muslim, so that might not hurt him much.

Finally we have Mike Huckabee. You might remember Huckabee from the last election. If he runs, America will be introduced to Huckabee II.

Same nice smile, same sense of humor, same southern drawl–Huckabee II is a much angrier version of the good minister and former Gov. of Arkansas. I think he nicely represents the major change in the GOP since the last election.

Huckabee circa 2008 was a principled man who posited himself as the vision of compassionate conservatism.

He even supported granting citizenship to all illegal immigrants, if they payed a small fine for breaking the law. Huckabee II roundly criticizes Democrats who make the same proposal.

But perhaps the most telling moment came on Feb. 28, when Huckabee was asked by a host of a conservative talk-radio show whether “we deserve to know more about” Obama’s birth certificate.

Huckabee I would have answered, “That’s a silly conspiracy theory. Barack Obama was born in Hawaii and is an American citizen, now let’s move onto the issues.” Huckabee II said, “I would love to know more. What I know is troubling enough. And one thing that I do know is his having grown up in Kenya. . . .”

Whoa, whoa. Not only is he entertaining the ideas of this nut, he doesn’t even have the claim right. Obama never lived in Kenya (he spent a few years in Indonesia).

But this kind of acceptance (if not encouragement) that conspiracy theories enjoy on the right extends throughout much of the Republican base.

This is going to be an issue in the primaries because, at some point, someone is going to ask the candidates what they believe. It will be too much fun to watch them look at one another thinking, “Damn. I wish Palin were here.”

Dave Balson is a junior journalism major. He can be reached at 581-2812 or DENopinions@gmail.com