As many may be aware, the Golden Globe Awards were held Sunday. As usual, several people/productions that deserved to win did and several that perhaps did not deserve to win also did.

During the commercial breaks, I could not help but notice the advertisements for the upcoming Screen Actors Guild Awards.

For those of who you may not be aware, these are the awards given by actors to actors. Actors patting one another on the back simply to say they like what the other did even if the general public whom they are meant to entertain did not.

Personally, I cannot stand most award shows. There are simply too many that come up too often. So, despite my contempt for such ridiculous and needless awards, I think I’ll start my own.

They shall be dubbed the Thillies and given out arbitrarily for no apparent reason to people throughout Illinois. The voting is strenuous, though. All nominees shall be considered by the grand academy, made up of myself and no one else. And the winners are.

Best Actor in a Comedy

Rod Blagojevich, for his portrayal of a governor in Illinois politics. His performance was both satirical and brilliant in its buffoonery. I mean, the man allegedly tried to auction off a seat in the state House by doing everything short of posting an ad on craigslist. He was even caught making such phone calls on his own office phone!

Furthermore, he has since appeared on carious television shows including “Oprah” and “The View” and both times ended up making jokes and laughing with the hosts.

Blago is either a comedic genius on par with Monty Python, or the most arrogant, self-deluded individual since Howard Hughes.

Congratulations, Blago. Your performance made me both laugh out loud and cry uncontrollably at the realization that I voted for you.

Best Comedy

The Illinois Government – all of it. I have not seen such a three-ringed circus since the last time I, well, went to a three-ringed circus.

Honestly, though, I had trouble deciding whether to categorize this show as a comedy or mystery. Will it have enough money? Where did the money go? Was it Blago in the Capitol Building with the candlestick?

There have been plenty of laughs, though. I mean, it promises money then doesn’t have enough money to cover what it promised. If this were a Hollywood film, I would expect a hair-brained scheme to stage a fake war with Iowa to drum up funding.

Best Drama

All college students relying on state financial aid. This drama had everything. The characters, the true emotion, the fact that it makes everyone involved want to cry.

The fact is all students currently relying on Illinois to help them are up a creek. While legislators continue to promise money, they can’t seem to find it. They can find plenty of blame to throw around for why they can’t find it, though. And like a drama, no matter how many promises they gave, they left the viewer wanting more.

David Thill is a senior journalism major who can be reached at 581-7942 or DENopinions@gmail.com.

New parking regulations are now in effect in downtown Charleston.

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