Thanksgiving is a wonderful American tradition that dates back to the first settlers of this country. Having said that, Thanksgiving sucks and needs to be fixed.

Why do we eat turkey? Why do the always-terrible Detroit Lions have to play every year? Why is Thanksgiving so boring? I am not a fancy historian or a U.S. president; I am just a normal college student who is asking questions.

I am going to propose a few simple changes that will help us take Thanksgiving back and will no longer be the laughing stock among holidays when they all hang out.

Change the food

Turkey, canned yams, pumpkin pie and stuffing? Come on, America, we can do better than that. I don’t eat yams any other day of the year, why should I on a holiday? We are a melting pot of nationalities; I think the food should reflect that. I’m proposing an ethnic potluck for Thanksgiving. That’s right, someone brings lasagna, another brings some orange chicken and cap that off with tacos. We’ve gotten a lot of things right with this country, but food-wise, everyone else kicks our butt.

Make the NFL have the Colts and Patriots play every year

I know the Lions and Dallas Cowboys play because of tradition, but the Lions always suck. So, I’m forced to watch the worst NFL team at least one week a year.

If the NFL is going to fix the schedule (and then deny it, saying there is a formula) so the Indianapolis Colts and New England Patriots play every season, at least make it on Thanksgiving. You’re telling me you wouldn’t rather watch this, than listen to your aunt and mom talk about makeup or something?

Embrace Christmas

Thanksgiving should be turned into some sort of mini-Christmas. Christmas has already taken over as the day after Halloween – we should just make Thanksgiving official as pre-Christmas. Think about it, after you eat dinner, the big build-up for Thanksgiving is over.

With Thanksgiving as a mini-Christmas, people could hand out one small gift to one another or play some sort of “White Elephant” game. This would boost the economy, and be more fun than the main event now, which is eating.

Rebrand Thanksgiving

We rebrand everything. Coke and Pepsi do it once every few years. What Thanksgiving needs is a new edge.

I say we change the back-story to something cooler. And it needs a hero and villain.

So, we should just adopt the movie “Raiders of the Lost Arc” as our Thanksgiving back-story. Think about it: The grandparents sit the children down and tell the tale of Indiana Jones and how he took down a Nazi convoy with a horse. Then we eat a meal in honor of this feat.

This is far cooler than the Native Americans and Pilgrims getting along. Plus, every holiday needs a song – even Halloween has the “Monster Mash.” We could listen to the score from “Indiana Jones” all month.

People of America, let’s embrace these changes and get Thanksgiving back.

Dan Cusack is a junior journalism major and can be reached at 581-7944 or DENopinions@gmail.com.