I talked to one of my friends on the phone this week and he asked when I was going to drive to his college to visit him for the weekend.

I thought about it and knew I would have to work for the next couple weekends, so I could not go any time in the immediate future.

When I thought about it a little bit later, I realized how much I hate visiting another college for a weekend. I can handle one day but an entire weekend is way too long.

The logic is great: You head to another campus, hang out with someone you haven’t seen in a long time to do stupid things. But the execution is always off.

First, it requires you driving for a long period of time, which, in my mind, is any time you’re in the car for more than six minutes or get on I-57.

Once you’re on I-57, there is always going to be construction because, God forbid a road can get finished to make things easier.

Then you get to your destination, but not before getting lost for a good 20 minutes because your friend is an idiot and thinks you understand his stupid city’s streets.

You finally arrive, and come to the worst realization in the world – you now have to spend the next 48 hours with this person. It is physically impossible to spend more then five consecutive hours with anyone without getting the urge to stab him or her with an ice pick, let alone 48.

After you are all settled in, it’s time to start having “fun.”

Because he does not attend Eastern, the finest institution in the entire world, his idea of fun is something lame like talking about his feelings.

After pre-gaming, it is time to get ready and shower. Now, for my showers, I need maximum temperature and the water pressure should rival the speed of winds in a hurricane.

Does his shower have either? Of course not. So now I must walk around with floppy hair for the rest of the night.

After getting in the car to get food, it’s time to finally go out. For some reason, none of my friends live anywhere near their other friends at school so you must walk a good two years to get to the party.

If I visit anywhere ever again, I might invest in a Segway.

And because you are not at Eastern, you enter the party and they are always doing something like singing “I Love College” and sipping wine coolers.

When the night is over, you get back to his place, and it’s time to go to bed.

Now, I hate sleeping anywhere except for my own bed and the sleeping locations are never ideal.

The choice is either a dirty floor with cigarette butts all over it or the couch somebody peed on last weekend.

Thank you, I’ll go sleep in my car.

The next day is exactly the same, except you are already sick of each other, always have a headache and are tired because you did not get enough sleep.

So, I think I will swear off visits to other colleges this year.

To my friends, I’ll see you at Christmas.

Dan Cusack is a junior journalism major and can be reached at DENopinions@gmail.com or 581-7942.