Businesses have one goal: to make a profit.

I’ve worked at enough sales-based jobs to see through the “We truly care about customer satisfaction” slogans. It’s all about money.

So why does Hollywood give us an entire movie and all its best parts packed into two and half minutes for free?

Not to get nostalgic, but remember when movie previews didn’t give away the best parts of the movie? What happened to that?

When I saw a preview for “The Simpsons Movie,” I couldn’t wait until it came out because I thought the Spiderpig bit was hilarious and I couldn’t wait to see more. Months later, I’m in the movie theater, and there’s the Spiderpig scene, and I hardly let out a chuckle. I think it was more of a barely uttered “Heh.” It was because I already saw the entire scene in the previews.

I thought to myself, “How can they do that? That’s cruel.” I felt cheated because instead of the random jerk ruining the ending for you, Hollywood took care of it itself.

Another movie that left me feeling disgruntled because of its trailer was “Tropic Thunder.” The 2 1/2-minute long trailer gave away the best parts of the movie, including the full plot. Again, during the movie, I thought, “Oh yeah, that race joke” and “Heh, another one of Ben Stiller’s way-too-out-there characters. Hilarious.”

I did a little research and found that there is a Web site out there called www.goodpreviews.com. Under their “10 Commandments of Good Previews For Film Marketers” section, No. 1 on the list is “Thou shall never, ever, ever give away a major plot twist or surprise ending in a preview.”

I think anybody with a sense of morality and a bit of empathy can agree with that. For the sake of this column, No. 9 on the list proves most important.

“Thou shall never give away comedic situations that would be funnier within the context of the movie.” It couldn’t have been put any better.

After contemplating why Hollywood does this, I started to think about other business and how they market their products, while making money in doing so. Then strip clubs came to mind.

Like free movie previews, anyone can sit around the bar of the club and look all they want.

But if you want what isn’t free, you have to pay for it.

Well, this is the way I want movies to work again.

I stick my hard-earned dollars all too willingly into Hollywood’s g-string, and all I want in return is my money’s worth.

The Eastern women’s golf team tied for second in the nine-team Westerwind Classic at the Harry Musato Golf Course in Macomb this weekend. The Panthers tied Loyola of Chicago with a team total of 312 (+24).

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