A Child Found
In January of 2007, journalism department secretary Beth Kastl was working just as she would any other day. She had been working for the department since July 2006, and had established a daily routine in her activities. However, one phone call she received one particular day in January would change her life forever. She had received contact with someone she had not seen in almost 21 years, since she was 17 years old.
In May 1985, Kastl was a typical high school student ready for her junior prom. She was set up with her best friend’s boyfriend’s friend as a thrown together date. The date later turned into a one-night stand and in late July, early August she found out she was pregnant. She was 16 years old.
“My cousin got pregnant the year before,” Kastl said, “and I knew my parents would send me away.”
Kastl was sent to St. Monica’s Maternity Center in Springfield were girls ranging as low as 13 years old to early 20’s could be sent to have their children. However, not every girl was required to give up her child to adoption. Kastl, though, felt like she had no other choice.
“My parents gave me no other choice. Plus, I knew I couldn’t give him everything he deserved,” Kastl said.
Kastl went through Catholic Charities, whose mission is to provide services to people in need as well as to advocate for justice in social structures, to help perform her adoption proceedings. Catholic Charities has been known to help women get suitable families for children they are giving up for adoption. According to the Catholic Charities Web site, over 42,000 people had utilized the adoption services Catholic Charities offered.
There are many types of adoptions. Open adoptions are when the adoptive parents are in constant contact with the birth mother and are there during the birth. The birth mother can also be involved in the child’s life. Closed adoptions are when the birth mother has no idea who is getting her child and all contact is closed off. Kastl had an in-between form of adoption, where she was given information about the adoptive parents but never actually met them, and vice versa.
Catholic Charities gave Kastl profile sheets of potential parents for her unborn child. When she came upon the Whalen’s profiles, she felt that she might have found a match.
“Both had blonde hair and blue eyes and had an little girl. They were catholic and lived in a rural community in Illinois. It was similar to my childhood and I wanted him to have the same upbringing as I had,” Kastl said.
On February 28, 1986, and at the age of 17, Kastl gave birth to her son, Timothy Joseph Kastl. Although she had to wait 72 hours before she could sign the adoption papers, unlike most mothers she waited with her son and wanted to be the one to deliver him to Catholic Charities instead of leaving him at the hospital.
“It was a form of mental security, I had to physically give him to someone and take him out of the hospital when I left. I couldn’t leave him there, it felt too much like abandoning him,” Kastl said.
After 72 hours, Kastl went over to Catholic Charities in Springfield, signed the adoption papers and gave her son over to someone she hoped would give him to a family who would love him.
“Back then, I was still unsure about things. I was scared; you never know when you give your kid over. I kept wondering if he was going to be better off,” Kastl said.
The Whalen’s, upon hearing the news that their new son was born, rushed back from their trip to Florida to meet their new baby boy, whom they named Richard Edward Whalen III.
The Whalen’s wrote a few letters to Kastl, thanking her for her son and sending her pictures. However, after that Catholic Charities thought it best to break all ties. After the last letter she lost all contact with her son.
Twenty-one years later, Kastl got a phone call while at work in the journalism office one January afternoon. Her mother called wondering if she needed money because Catholic Charities was calling and needed her to call them back. When she called Catholic Charities they asked for her date of birth and if she had any affiliation with Catholic Charities in 1986. After answering their questions she was informed that her son wanted to contact her and asked if she would be open to it.
She said yes.
She was sent a non-identifying letter from her son Richard, Richie as he is liked to be called, where he told her he has had a great life, was going to school, had great parents and that she did good by him. To Kastl, it was “everything you would want to hear.”
She signed consent forms, giving her contact information and was soon getting phone calls from Richard. He was asking her questions like where he got his ski-sloped nose and while he was playing football and other sports in high school was she there watching him, wondering if he was there. She said she would know him if she saw him.
Richard’s adoptive parents had signed consent forms letting him be able to try to find his birth mother when he was 17 years old. He had been searching for almost four years for his birth mother, and in early 2007, Kastl and Richard had their first meeting at the Panther Paw in Charleston. He was given a picture of her but she knew who he was right when he walked in.
“He always favored his dad, even when he was a newborn,” Kastl said.
They exchanged pictures they had, Richard bringing ones of him growing up and Kastl ones of him as an infant in the hospital. She said she was “so proud of myself that I didn’t cry.” They went to a friend of Richard’s who lives by Lantz Arena and was Kastl was introduced to Richard’s girlfriend, Meagan, who he has been dating since junior high, and his dog. They then went to her house and she introduced him to some of her family, Kastl’s 4-year-old daughter Reve, her parents, her nieces and her niece’s children. After looking at both Kastl and Richard, Meagan told him that now she knows where his sky-sloped nose came from, and, after giving them a tour of her home, why Richard likes his bedroom at ice-cold temperatures. His birth mother was the same way.
Having Richard meet some of her family meant more to Kastl than anything.
“For me, glad he was able to meet my dad. My dad has had cancer for over a year and was not doing so well. He would have his good days and his bad days. That day he didn’t feel like leaving the house,” said Kastl. In late May, Kastl’s father died and at the visitation, a friend of her father’s told her that her father said, “[Richard] was a fine young man and he was glad to have met him.”
Richard is currently a junior at Illinois State University, and Kastl could not have been prouder since he will be the first member of her family, and his adopted family to graduate college.
Kastl and Richard still are in contact with each other. Kastl said that she is willing to go as far as he is comfortable with. Kastl has also been in contact with his adoptive mother, exchanging stories and pictures of Richard while he was growing up. On Mother’s Day, Kastl sent her a photo of Richard when he was an infant as well as his original birth certificate and the profile Kastl had of her and her husband. Richard sent her a birth mother Mother’s Day card.
Richard has also been in contact with his birth father, but has not met him yet. Kastl knows when he does he will not be disappointed.
“It’s been a roller coaster, but a good ride. I do not regret anything and if I had too, I would do it all over again,” said Kastl.