‘Want know why relatively mature (being generous on that) young adult males like myself love being sports reporters-in-training?

It’s because we get to watch games live for free and get paid to do it.

Don’t misunderstand, it’s hard work and sometimes a highly stressful job but it’s worth it. The grind of Monday through Friday and then rush of going to cover the game is similar to the feeling you get in Las Vegas when you drop a boatload of cash at the blackjack table but make it up at $4.95 buffet.

However, certain troublesome things have come up while watching games on television with no local rooting interest. So, here’s how it usually goes.

I’m watching a game, make a humongous deal out of this little issue and then my friend asks “If you were commissioner for a day, what would you do about it?”

Well, today I’m king for a day.

Since game viewership is a value all sports reporters hold in the highest regard, these swift changes could make the experience more enjoyable.

Be prepared however because as Clint Eastwood said, “sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands.”

How can you argue with Dirty Harry?

First issue – Most professional leagues and college conferences have fines and possibly suspensions in its bylaws for coaches who criticize the officials.

That goes away immediately. If, as a coach, you’re stupid enough to think that you weren’t out-coached, out-played or out-lucked then by all means take shots at the zebras. In no other form of life do we punish those for being verbally stupid. We simply stop listening. For the egos of coaches that criticize refs, not getting a public reaction is punishment enough.

Next – No more random jersey number changes.

I understand if a professional player changes teams, it’s possible. It’s a bad idea. Currently, there has to be 15,000 fans who show up at the Staples Center every night extremely mad at Kobe Bryant because they are sporting his old No. 8 while he trots out this year with 24. This is the singular factor to Alex Rodriguez’s media-generated demise in New York. With the Mariners and Rangers he wore No. 3 and no, I don’t expect them to un-retire the Babe’s number, but 13?

What Yankee public relations dude thought unlucky 13 was a good omen in a game filled with superstitions? How about going from 3 to 33. Plus it’s one more reason for Yankee fans to ship Jaret Wright out of town.

Next – Sideline reporters are a luxury not required. One per sport.

No exceptions.

College football gets Jill Arrington simply because what 18 to 22-year-old male would vote no to Arrington coming to your campus, if only for a day.

Pro football gets Suzy Kolber (her handling of a drunk Joe Namath hitting on her during live TV was incredible).

College basketball gets Bonnie Bernstein (should’ve never left CBS’ college basketball coverage) and the WNBA gets Michelle Tafoya and racing gets Jack Arute (horrible at his job but his name still is, unfortunately, hilarious).

Lastly – An announcer who refers to a player by his nickname is suspended without pay for six months. There are four exceptions who’ve adopted their public name: Tiger, Chipper, Ichiro and MJ.

Nothing is more irritating than hearing announcers saying Big Papi, Big Hurt, T.O. or A-Rod in first reference. They are people with names and you wouldn’t walk up to our governor and say, “Hey, Blago got a minute?”