McHENRY (AP) – Sandy Barcus said she knew when she woke up in the middle of the night that something terrible had happened to her son.

A military officer arrived at her home hours later Thursday to say Collier Edwin Barcus, 21, had been killed in Iraq after insurgents launched mortars at the Iraqi National Guard building in Samarra, about 60 miles north of Baghdad.

The soldier, who had been stationed in Iraq with the Army’s 1st Infantry Division since January 2003, was expected to return home on leave July 28.

“We’re still in shock trying to grasp the reality that we’re never going to hug him or kiss him or shake his hand again,” said Sandy Barcus.

The Department of Defense has not yet publicly confirmed Barcus’ death, and a spokeswoman said Sunday she had no information to release about him.

Family members said Barcus was a fearless child who loved exploring his wooded neighborhood and fishing in the nearby Fox River.

“I remember he decided to learn how to rappel by jumping out of his bedroom window on the second story,” said his uncle, George Fueschl of Hoffman Estates.

Barcus finished high school on a Wyoming ranch, where he was home-schooled and learned ranching skills, and he hoped to return there someday to own his own ranch.

Two of his cowboy hats hang on his mother’s living room wall.

Sandy Barcus said her son decided on Sept. 11, 2001, to join the military after watching the terrorist attacks.