While previous Magic 8-Ball entries have revolved around the same topic, the all knowing, omnipotent 8-Ball will predict a myriad of events in honor of the last issue of The Verge for the year.

Will the RIAA sue the rap industry for continually stealing (read: sampling) good music and turning it into hip-pop turds? (P. Diddy we’re looking at you)

Magic 8-Ball says: Don’t count on it.

Will Donald Trump be hired to use his catch phrase “You’re Fired” (copyright pending) to announce the Presidential Election results?

Magic 8-Ball says: Ask again later.

Will the Olsen Twins make cinematic history by releasing an adult movie starring themselves soon after turning 18?

Magic 8-Ball says: Most likely.

Michael Jackson will be acquitted of all child molestation charges after it is revealed he is in, in fact, not human but an alien and our laws simply don’t apply to him.

Magic 8-Ball says: Outlook good.

Will Good Charlotte be tarred and feathered after the rest of the world realizes they’re posers?

Magic 8-Ball says: You may rely on it.

Will people finally stop watching MTV to protest the return of music to the channel that once toted all music programming?

Magic 8-Ball says: My reply is no.

Will Saddam Hussein get a book deal while he is awaiting trial in prison?

Magic 8-Ball says: All signs are pointing to yes.

Will Jessica Simpson finally understand buffaloes do not have wings?

Magic 8-Ball says: Without a doubt.

Will America actually remember who the stars of Friends were by the time the summer is over?

Magic 8-Ball says: Outlook good.