The entire world has officially gone through the looking glass.

Everything everyone in the world once knew is now no more. Rational thought, reason and any manner of inductive reasoning has been rendered entirely useless.

And the saddest part of it all is that it happened so fast no one bothered to notice until it was too late. In a strange Seussian turn of events, everything that was once logical and sane has been replaced by the last thing anyone would expect.

The worlds of sports, politics and entertainment have all been turned upside down and gone in through the out door, so to speak, in the past months The only rational explanation is that the end truly is upon us. Sadly, however, not even Nostradamus saw any of it coming.

The first inklings came with the success of both the Chicago Cubs and the Boston Red Sox. Sure anyone can have a bad century, and in some way both the Cubs and Sox were due a little success, but did anyone see this coming? As it stands, both teams are entrenched in the World Series hunt and if the pair square off, one city will finally have to stop whining for at least another 100 years.

What’s a world without perennial losers like the Cubs? If either team wins, the first horseman of the apocalypse will be riding past Waveland Avenue blissfully waving a scythe and chuckling maniacally at revelers covered in blue and white.

In the world of politics, California is now forced to swallow Arnold Schwarzenegger as governor. How exactly does one go from an alleged steroid shooting, female molesting body builder to governor of one of America’s largest and most diverse states in the midst of the worst budget crisis in generations? Somehow I don’t think Schwarzenegger- as Conan, the Terminator, a Twin, a Kindergarten Cop or even as a loveable Austrian brickhead- can save California.

In fact, he may be hammering a nail in America’s coffin.

Digging deeper reveals even more. Aside from these most apparent examples, consider this: Eminem, arguably the best rapper in the world, is white while Tiger Woods, arguably the world’s best golfer, is black. The Yankees, sports’ paramount evil, can’t even buy a World Series bid this year while the San Antonio Spurs beat the L.A. Lakers in last year’s NBA Finals. Add to this the fact the GOP is in hot water for overspending while the Democratic Party has gone from having a lone presidential candidate in 2000 to enough candidates in 2004 to make California blush.

Johnny Cash, an American institution, is dead but 50 Cent can get shot nine times and live. There’s simply no justice in this world and it’s become a bit more than merely troubling.

To quote R.E.M.’s Michael Stipe, “It’s the end of the world as we know it,” but I sadly find myself feeling a little less than fine.

The next thing you know, Michael Moore will become a staunch conservative and win the Boston marathon while George W. Bush will endorse gay marriage and stop his petty warmongering. U2 will put out an album worth listening to, Paul Thomas Anderson will make a film that isn’t pretentious drivel, the Chicago Bears will emerge as contenders and Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson will both shut the hell up.

Maybe it’s mere wishful thinking, but a guy can dream can’t he?

When all of this happens, we’ll see War, Famine, Pestilence and Death ride in as day becomes night, night becomes day and the moon is seen in pale blood, or, well, probably not any of that last part, really. But it’s a little more than troubling.

These strange happenings are certainly not of Biblical proportions, but they aren’t exactly believable either. I, for one, never saw it coming.

The entire world has officially gone through the looking glass.

(more…)