Contrary to what many people think, college may be the easiest of any of our collective years.

Where some see fear, uncertainty or an omnipresent “real world” looming ever larger, there are, in fact, a few expected norms and shortcuts accompanying the anxiety and periodic frustration of education. It is simply a manner of discovering them before it’s too late.

I can’t claim to have learned everything in the past three years, but a much lesser-known freshman 15 has become abundantly apparent and useful in making college life as simple as possible. What follows are 15 facts no college freshman should live without.

I only wish someone had enlightened me before it was too late.

Baby wipes- Feel free to laugh, but baby wipes are one of God’s greatest miracles. For less than $5 any student can clean everything in even the most putrid dorm room (including him or herself) without touching a mop, bucket, scrub brush or sponge.

Dryer sheets- When cash runs low, which inevitably seems constant, there’s no need to waste valuable money on trivialities like laundry when a dryer sheet will make a shirt or a pair of pants smell Downy fresh in a matter of minutes. Disgusting but true.

Febreze- This goes back to the filth and flotsam invariably collected through simply living on a college campus or associating with college students. Febrezecan cover any room odor, debilitate clothing stench or act as air freshener with a pair of sprays.

Poverty- Full-time student translates roughly to “impoverished.” No matter how much a job pays, students will find clever ways to fritter money away, so there’s no real use fighting poverty. Learn to live frugally.

“If it’s free, it’s for me”- This is the necessary motto for all college students. It doesn’t really matter what is being offered or where you have to go to get it because it will always be worth it.

Academics- This is the first of the three A’s of education. In the end, students are actually here to learn, so even if academics isn’t a priority, there’s no point in wasting money by not going to classes being paid for.

Activities- Activities are abundant on even the most abysmal campus and Eastern is no exception. Aside from an education, each of us is really paying for a four year course in social interaction. There’s something for everyone, even if your particular “thing” is hackey sack or just watching movies.

Alcohol- As little as Eastern wants to admit it, alcohol may be the biggest common denominator in most social situations in college. Sure, it kills brain cells (and if some students lose any more they will be reduced to talking monkeys), but alcohol can in fact be imbibed responsibly.

Coffee and nicotine- These two are the cornerstones for successful college life as they can substitute for full meals or simply illustrate nature’s greatest complementary goods.

Sleep- Sleep is for suckers; learn to live without it and savor it whenever possible.

Parents- When you’re a freshman, parents still love and miss you, so take full advantage while you can.

Work Ethic- School is a job while students are enrolled and should be treated as such.

Studying- Studying is a necessary evil even if a student has little intention on academic excellence. And remember to always surround yourself with those smarter than you.

Procrastination- Procrastination is a time-honored tradition for all walks of life and if I really had the answer I certainly wouldn’t be here right now. The simplest solution is to prioritize, plan ahead and hope for the best.

Home- For all intents and purposes, Charleston quickly becomes home for most students. Although it may be tough to imagine, this town rapidly becomes part of everyday vernacular for home. How can anyone become homesick when nestled inside the cultural Mecca of the Charleston-Mattoon metropolis?

Some of these suggestions may sound simplistic or outright stupid, but most freshmen can use all the help available. If all else fails, curl into the fetal position and contemplate where it all went wrong. That’s what I do.