I didn’t know her. The only thing I had in common with her was we were students at the same university, pursuing a dream of a career and a life beyond college.

We were both female college students unafraid that anything would come in the way of our dreams. But as the story played out, something did come in between her and her dreams of becoming a teacher.

Throughout the last few weeks, I feel strangely close to Shannon McNamara and horrified as more details of her death are given in the capital murder trial and current sentencing of the individual found guilty of killing her.

We go about our daily lives believing we are safe. In the college student mentality, we think nothing can harm us, that we are always safe and everything will be a happy ending.

I’ve never questioned my safety on campus. Every time someone told me to beware of some hazard or another, I never really considered it a threat.

But now, when I go home at night, I make sure I lock the deadbolt on my apartment door. I look over my shoulder at night and try not to go out alone.

But sometimes that isn’t enough. I worry someone could come in through one of my windows and do to me what was done to her. I’m sure I’m not the only one who thinks this way. In fact, some of my friends and I have talked about it.

It’s a really bad feeling, to all of a sudden question your safety — to think about what might happen after you turn out the lights.

I’ve gone to some of the court proceedings; I went to the prayer service for Shannon, and I’ve kept up with the coverage of the trial.

What I have seen has affected me. I can’t imagine the grief her family is going through again, maybe even more than when it originally happened. I find myself feeling especially sad sometimes, even though I didn’t know her.

The amount of detail is shocking and upsetting to all, especially the ones who were closest to Shannon.

I have to admit, I first attended this trial out of a morbid curiosity, both to see how a trial of this nature works and to find out more about what happened. Now I wish I hadn’t. I believe it is insensitive to those who knew Shannon, and I am constantly reminded how this sort of thing affects not only those directly involved, but also those standing on the sidelines.

It’s not at all like police and Court TV shows. This happened in Charleston to someone many of us could have known if we didn’t already. The crime wasn’t solved in a one hour segment. It is a real place, a real crime and real emotions.

And once the case is over, it still won’t be over. Not for the family, not for the friends. They will still have to deal with the fact their daughter, sister and friend was murdered and can’t be brought back.

And it won’t be over for the students of Eastern Illinois University or the residents of Charleston. Ever since it happened, we’ve had to come to terms with the fact a heinous murder can happen here and we are powerless to stop it.

Anthony B. Mertz killed Shannon McNamara. In the next few days, a jury will decide what the appropriate sentencing is for him — a prison term or death.

Regardless of the outcome, we can’t let this tragedy run our lives. We can’t live in fear. If we do that, the criminal still wins, whether he lives or dies.